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Hi Everybody!
That's right, you're on Beyoncé's main blog. This is where I tell you all about what it's like to be such a lucky bitch! Cuz I Am!
First of all, I'd like to send out a zillion "Thank Yous" to all of my fans out there from all over the world. You guys are sooo wonderful. The I am... Tour has been great so far and it's all thanks to you. Love.
Last week I was in Paris -yeah!!! the city of romance!!! Can you believe?- My friend Jean-Jacques wanted to take me out to see The Wampas or something, playing at the Alhambra Theater. I was a bit reluctant at first -I'm not the punk-rock type you see, sorry, thank you- and you know how Jean-Jacques can be such a lousy punk-ass motherfucker sometimes... but finally I said yes when he said if I didn't go, he would play the latest Cali album all night.
After having a kebab rue de Lancry, we hit the Alhambra. The mood was good though, but I was already feeling depressed, anticipating the two hours of No Future shit ahead of me. Oh my God, and they have an opening act!! Please... this is the most boring-er evening EVER! My friend Jean-Jacques, who can be such a two-faced dumbfuck cracker sometimes, managed to calm my nerves with a beer.
And something happened.
That opening band, called Le Pump Moderne, took the stage. Oh don't misunderstand me, the playing was so bad, but that singer, man, he just made it for me. I was just riveted to his every move. Look what they did to the vintage 2 Unlimited shit:
My God I had to meet the guy. I found my way backstage while Jean-Jacques was hitting on some poor girl with a bad case of asthma, and found Le Pump Moderne's ridiculously small changing room. There he was, my Georges. We started talking... He was funny, but he didn't look as half attractive as when he was on stage, so I axed him to put his wig back on. Then I put my best Beyoncé on me -well you know what I'm talkin' about right?- and went right at the motherfucker, lookin' at him straight into his eyes.
That's when he said:
-I'm already seeing someone.
Can you believe that?!? That redneck fuck was turning me down! I was in shock. So I said :
-look at those babies here and tell me you don't want me, huh?
That's when he said:
-Bitch, you can't compete with my girl.That opening band, called Le Pump Moderne, took the stage. Oh don't misunderstand me, the playing was so bad, but that singer, man, he just made it for me. I was just riveted to his every move. Look what they did to the vintage 2 Unlimited shit:
My God I had to meet the guy. I found my way backstage while Jean-Jacques was hitting on some poor girl with a bad case of asthma, and found Le Pump Moderne's ridiculously small changing room. There he was, my Georges. We started talking... He was funny, but he didn't look as half attractive as when he was on stage, so I axed him to put his wig back on. Then I put my best Beyoncé on me -well you know what I'm talkin' about right?- and went right at the motherfucker, lookin' at him straight into his eyes.
That's when he said:
-I'm already seeing someone.
Can you believe that?!? That redneck fuck was turning me down! I was in shock. So I said :
-look at those babies here and tell me you don't want me, huh?
That's when he said:
I gave him the finger and rushed out, grabbed Jean-Jacques out of that Godforsaken place and we went for another kebab.
Love.
B.
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